With classes already ended and graduation looming, I wanted to reflect on the lessons that have impacted me the most in the past two years. I can write about all the things I've learned in the classroom, but that would be pedantic. Besides, I think this wonderful journey has taught me more through experience than through pedagogy.

Here are a few, and certainly not the only, takeaways from my cumulative experiences:

• I've learned to recognize my limitations so I know where, when, and how to push myself. Without this awareness, it becomes too easy to either let hubris take over or complacency settle in like an unwanted house guest. 

• I've learned to be honest with myself about why I'm doing what I'm doing. This doesn't mean what I'm doing is right. It doesn't mean it's ethical. It just means I recognize the motivations behind my actions - be it fear, pride, greed, or something else. I think this is important because it ensures the path I take is deliberate even if my destination is unclear. It means I won't wake up one day to find myself accidentally living life aimlessly.

• I've learned that being the hare or being the tortoise isn't enough. I have to be both. Life is a series of sprints, jogs, walks, and the occasional naps. Since high school I've been sprinting and by the end of my first year at HBS I was running out of breath. I took my second year to catch up - inhale, exhale. It gave me the opportunity to reflect - and I mean really reflect - the deep kind of reflection that you can't get just from taking a selfie. I took a stroll through memory lane all the way from elementary school through high school to college and now as I wrap up my remaining days at grad school. This self-discovery has opened up more questions - Am I becoming too productive at the wrong things? Do I project the right meaning to obstacles? What motivates me and is that sustainable? 

• I've learned to be selfish in the service of others. This isn't as oxymoronic as it sounds. Various research have shown that expressing gratitude and leaving kindness in your footsteps make us happier people. By being present and through gestures as simple as saying thank you, I've found myself more content, relaxed, and satisfied with every breath.

• I've learned to trust my intuition and to act even when I'm unsure of my ability. Prior to launching and shutting down a little venture called Zest and before jumping headfirst into a start-up in Zambia there wasn't anything in particular that pushed me in those directions other than the feeling that "this is what I want to do even though I have no idea what to do." As Jobs once said, let the vision pull you. Hey, things worked out.  Even if they didn't I'm sure Earth would have kept spinning and the sun would have risen once again.

• I've learned that the glass is half full, half empty, and completely overfilling. What's been instilled in me is that framing is everything - in business and in life. Importantly, I've learned to take over the driver's seat in terms of deciding which frame to take - turning obstacles into "I'm gonna kick your ***" challenges and failures into "oops, that's what that button does, let's push the other one" situations.  I have no permanent regrets - just short term regrets where I've taken time to reflect, figured out what went wrong or right, and moved on to creating a better version of myself. Taking the "silver lining" perspective doesn't make me an optimist, it just allows me to move forward rather than linger on in the past.

Cross-posted: Huffington Post

I was reminded the other day that I can't leave Zambia without a final post. To follow up on my last entry, "Arbitrary Lessons I Learned on the Road," I'll keep this one focused on what I've learned from working and living in Zambia over the past couple months. Parts of this are in jest, others I'm quite serious about - which is which you can decide.

I've thoroughly enjoyed my time in Zambia and don't regret a moment of it. I've learned a lot. I've been smacked with humbleness. I've gain experiences that are borderline sketchy. And, most importantly, I've made friends who are just as sketchy and equally awesome. On with it...

Nothing is fast, just "less slow."

Order a coffee here at a "fast food" establishment and be ready to wait for at least 20-30 minutes. Go to the print shop and be prepared to hover around for 1-2 hours. So, throw out your schedule, sit back, and relax, because things aren't going to move any faster just because you're grumbling and mumbling.

Life doesn't give everyone lemons.

There's a huge wealth and income disparity between the developed nations and many African nations. But, even within Zambia, the disparity is just as discouraging. A traveler just passing by may notice the modern shopping malls built for the recent rise of the middle class, but that portion of the population is small. The rest are cramped inside self-confined areas called "compounds" - a euphemism for overcrowded shanty towns where living rooms are smaller than my former NYC apartment bathroom and kitchens consist of a hot plate next to the television. The borders of the compounds are generally lined by street shops selling furniture, clothing, and various other things, so for a foreigner driving by, everything seems peachy, but we all know what lurks inside. 

Sometimes, firing someone is the best thing you can do for that person.

It feels bad when you have to let someone go, but if by doing so you're helping them develop personally and professionally, then by all means do it, but do it with empathy and in a way that maintains their dignity. The sooner the better - for you, the company, and the individual.

Being Chinese is like being a celebrity - there's a love and hate relationship.

Like some other African countries, Zambia has a sizable Chinese population. However, Zambia is the first country where multiple people have asked if they could take pictures with me. Say cheeeeeeeese, or better yet, nshiiiiima.

There's a fine line between being aggressive and being an overused expletive.

Zambia is pretty laid-back (in all good sense of the word). Unlike other countries where sellers will nag you until your blood boils, most sellers here will mind their business and let you pass on by without much ado. The only exception is the inter-city bus terminal, where the call boys are as aggressive as aggressive gets. We've tried to instill a little bit of this within our staff, and to reinforce that there's a difference between being aggressive and being rude - the line is fine, but we are by no means near it.

Drawing from the likes of Journey's made up "South Detroit" in Don't Stop Believin' and Mampi's Walilowelela, as well as my own experience with consulting-speak, sometimes nonsense just makes sense. 

Does this make sense?

I like nshima.

See you later, Zambia.

Overdue haircut. Overdue shower. Overdue shave. Overdue laundered clothes. Backpackers don't always leave the best impression. Yet, they almost always leave people with a little bit of envy - traveling around the world, meeting new people, learning new cultures, trying new foods, living new experiences. Yes, traveling is about all of these things. But, for me, traveling has also taught me - or reminded me - of lessons that are just as applicable in my daily life as they are when I am on the road. Here are just a few.

Attitude matters.

You can't expect a happy ending or a pleasant journey if you start out behaving like a grumpy old (wo)man. Treat everything as an end in itself. Find love in whatever you are doing. If, instead, you find yourself grumbling about it and notice that your friends don't want to talk to you anymore, then it's time to switch to something new. When I started my Latin America trip, I was sitting on a bench in NYC waiting for the bus to JFK Airport. A subway train passed by overhead, shaking loose idle water and landing it on top of me and my backpack. As I was taking off my backpack to observe the damage, I cut my hand on the edge of one of the backpack straps. Sure it was not the best way to begin a trip, but at least my backpack was now properly christened and ready for two months on the road.

Take the plunge and don't doubt yourself.

Roads fork and so does life. When you have a decision to make, think through your options, pick one, and don't second guess yourself. If you're right, that's great. If you're wrong, find the lesson learned, and move on. Life happens now. I was on a bus heading back to San Salvador and missed my stop. I could have gotten off at the next stop, but decided to take it to the end of the line - what other way was there to get a tour of downtown? Turned out it wasn't one of my best ideas, but at least I got to see a side of the city that I would not have otherwise.

Best stories come from the worst experiences.

It's human nature to like hearing about other people's crappy experiences. Stories of great experiences generate jealousy. You know it. Don't deny it. I thoroughly enjoyed my trek to La Ciudad Perdida, but from my experience, people don't want to hear about the hundreds of stone structures discovered at The Lost City, a stone masonry city that's old enough to be Machu Picchu's great-great-great grandfather. Instead, what elicits the most emotions are the descriptions of the hot and humid Colombian jungle air that left me soaking in my own sweat, and the beds that had soaked in hundreds of other backpackers' own sweat. I can sense your disgust already. 

Nothing is ever final.

If I accepted the first price given to me each time I wanted a taxi or some other good/service, I'll be a backpacker living without the backpack. Negotiate for a higher salary. Bargain for a better deal. Compromise on who does laundry and who takes out the trash.

A smile goes a long way.

It puts people's guards down, even if inside you're secretly thinking about how you're going to manage to pay for the $30 meal you just ate with only $20 in your pocket. Besides, it also does a whole host of positive things for your body - reducing stress levels, lowering blood pressure, making you look younger and sexier without the other person first being inebriated. On my way back to the States from Peru, I missed my connection in El Salvador and had to spend the night there. The airline compensated each passenger with a $200 voucher, but a smile and an hola at the ticket counter got me an extra Benjamin.

Habit creates complacency, but also frees you to do other things.

I get bored easily. That's why you will never find me (when I'm traveling for leisure) in the same city for more than 3-4 days. Blink and I'll be on a bus heading somewhere. But, that doesn't mean I don't like a little bit of routine in my life, just not so much that it puts me in a rut too deep to crawl out. The more "non-essential" things you routinize, the more intellectual horsepower you'll have left for other things. Although I'm not technically in Zambia for leisure, my morning gym routine frees up a period of time when I don't have to worry about anything except to enjoy the peacefulness of the morning sunrise. Then the chaos ensues.

Being uncomfortable is okay, and exhilarating.

Singapore was the first international place I traveled to solo. I still get a little nervous every time I land in a foreign country, especially in the middle of the night. But, at the same time, it reminds me that there is still so much to explore and to learn. Being uncomfortable is a sign that you are living, growing, learning. The moment you feel too comfortable is really the moment you should be sweating your palms about.

You can't control everything.

A crazy bus driver, an out-of-control client, a GPS that takes you to a nuclear power plant when all you want to do is go to the mall. There are things in life that you can control, and things that you cannot. For the former, take charge. For the latter, there's MasterCard. No seriously, just be smart enough to know that it's the latter and stop stressing yourself over it. This includes natural disasters, other persons (e.g., your partner or the guy in the car in front of you who won't turn off his turn signal while driving on a single lane road). 

You don't know everything.

So don't assume anything. This applies to what you think you know about other religions, societies, or cultures just as much as it applies to the people in or out of your life. If you don't know something, go find out, even if it means putting yourself out on a limb. 

Crap will hit the fan. Learn your lesson. Laugh it off. Act now or move on.

Nothing ever happens as you think it will happen inside your self-confined imagination. Things will break down, people will behave unexpectedly, and that is okay, because that is life, not the end of it. Be grateful for the experience.

Material things get in the way of life.

Live uncluttered. If you have too much stuff, follow this chart. If you're considering making a purchase, refer back to the same chart and imagine what category that item will fall in within 6 months' time. A hike on a summer's day requires nothing but a good pair of shoes, a water bottle, and a shopping bag to carry out your garbage. As Trashy the Bear says, "Only you can prevent forest litter."

Cross-posted: Huffington Post | LinkedIn

Stop Asking Questions.   Okay, not every question - just the useless ones.  I've often fallen into the mind trap of asking questions about things, people, situations, etc. so I can figure out why they are the way they are, and how I can change it.  But, often times knowing the answers (if there are any) changes nothing.  Stop wasting time on these questions.  Make lemonade with what you got.

Every now and then we've all found ourselves living life just going through the motions. But, once in a while, it's helpful to take a purposeful pause to think, wonder, ponder about the direction we're heading and whether it's time to take a turn.

Here are a collection of questions that will spark your mind. I found these elsewhere so I can't take credit for them.  Note that there are no right or wrong answers - there may not even be any answers, just thought starters.  In no particular order...

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
3. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
4. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
5. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
6. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
7. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
8. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
9. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
10. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

Stop the Self-Doubt.  In less than two  months, it'll be that time of year again when people declare New Year's resolutions.  Most will, undeniably, declare those resolutions dead before the end of January.  Don't be one of those people.  Whether it's a New Year's resolution or something else that you want to achieve, don't doubt your ability to do it.  Ride the momentum that's there when you begin, and when the middle doldrums come, don't second guess yourself.  If needed, take a break, visualize the end state and think back to why you declared that goal in the first place.  Find friends and family who support you, but most importantly, take ownership of your success.  Even with all the external support in the world, you will have a harder time succeeding if you can't find faith within yourself.


Past Tidbits...

• Stop Caring What Others Think

To avoid running the risk of blogger's burnout, I'll start interjecting shorter posts in between my longer ones.  This post will kick off a new "series" - Tidbits to live by... - mini epiphanies that I've had, or have learned from others, about the little things in life.

Stop Caring What Others Think.  This is hard.  When we're born into a society that values the superficial over the beauty that's inside all of us (corny, but true) what else are we predestined to do but to worry about other people's judgments?   When you find yourself doing - or not doing - things, because you are afraid of how other people will judge you, take notice.  Connect back to your values and let that drive you.  Perhaps Eleanor Roosevelt put it best - “What other people think of me is none of my business.”